[Insert pretentious literary reference here]

I: Public Transportation

Exhibit A: London metro to airport
Kyle: Good job making friends with the Armenian slave-trader who's going to kidnap you and your sister.
Megan: (haughtily) He's Columbian.
Kyle: Oh, sorry. Good job making friends with the Columbian slave-trader, then.

Exhibit B: Airline bus to Oxford
Megan: Kyle made me buy an episode of OOOOOOOHHHH!!! (pointing, arm across my face)

Exhibit C: Train to London
Unknown train patron (in an excited manner): Ooh! He's got hair just like a porcupine!! (runs down aisle, brushes stranger's hair in passing, exits rear door of compartment)


II: Purchases

Exhibit A: ASDA
Megan: We could go buy vegetables. And 1/2 a baguette. And brie. And wine. And I suppose we could get something substantial...

Exhibit B: Primark
Anonymous: I look like a hot mom in these shorts.

Exhibit C: Odeon
(Woman sits down right next to Megan in nearly empty theater)
(pause)
Megan (to me): Wait, do we have assigned seats? (looks at ticket) Crap.