I hope it works. I hope it works. It worked!!!

Q: Which of the following is the correct (read: only) way to purchase an underground ticket to destinations outside zone 2 in London?

A) I'd like to buy a [single/one-day] ticket. (Assume you'll be asked which zone.)
B) I'd like to buy a [single/one-day] ticket including zone 6 please.
C) I'd like to buy a [single/one-day] ticket - I have to get to Heathrow.
D) I am GOING to HEATHROW AIRPORT. I need a ticket. Please. Thanks.

[Insert pretentious literary reference here]

I: Public Transportation

Exhibit A: London metro to airport
Kyle: Good job making friends with the Armenian slave-trader who's going to kidnap you and your sister.
Megan: (haughtily) He's Columbian.
Kyle: Oh, sorry. Good job making friends with the Columbian slave-trader, then.

Exhibit B: Airline bus to Oxford
Megan: Kyle made me buy an episode of OOOOOOOHHHH!!! (pointing, arm across my face)

Exhibit C: Train to London
Unknown train patron (in an excited manner): Ooh! He's got hair just like a porcupine!! (runs down aisle, brushes stranger's hair in passing, exits rear door of compartment)


II: Purchases

Exhibit A: ASDA
Megan: We could go buy vegetables. And 1/2 a baguette. And brie. And wine. And I suppose we could get something substantial...

Exhibit B: Primark
Anonymous: I look like a hot mom in these shorts.

Exhibit C: Odeon
(Woman sits down right next to Megan in nearly empty theater)
(pause)
Megan (to me): Wait, do we have assigned seats? (looks at ticket) Crap.

Multiple degrees? Why not.

"Let's remember who we are. We go to school. That's what we're good at! We like it. We like studying. We're good at studying. We want to wear what we want to wear when we want to wear it."

Going back! For a few days. *sigh*